Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
