he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
