quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
