How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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