He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
