dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
