SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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