Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
