i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Boobs speak an international language.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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