That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
