At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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