already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
