garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
