Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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