i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
