I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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