Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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