Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
