Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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