All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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