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Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
