How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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