does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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