dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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