ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
