she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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