Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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