she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize