Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
