Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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