I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
