What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
