hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize