watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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