btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
