i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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