Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
