I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
