It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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