That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
