I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
