Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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