I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
