Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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