what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
