But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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