I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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