I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
