He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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