i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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